whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
