Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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