They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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