Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
