She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
