Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i now understand why vodka
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
