One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
