I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
