I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
