I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
