i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
