dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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