stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize