is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
