Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
