Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
