he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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