Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
