I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
