TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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