Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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