If that was your dad, he is hot
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize