Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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