God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
