Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
