Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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