Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
