You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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