Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
