ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
