Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm bleeding and have questions
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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