your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
