I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
