I have demons in me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize