You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
