I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
