My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
