1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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