He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
