If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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