I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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