Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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