Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
