So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
