This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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