I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
