I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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