the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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