I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
