He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
