I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wish my penis had a tongue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just had sex on a roof
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
