her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
