I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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