So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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