this beer tastes like vomit already
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
