the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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