Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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